


A New Light

by fantasticdrowse



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: 1974 era, Early Queen, Fluff, M/M, Sheer Heart Attack era, john likes brian and brian doesn't know, just johns pure thoughts about brian, unrequited love (only it's not really love)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-05-20 08:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19372879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasticdrowse/pseuds/fantasticdrowse
Summary: It's 1974, and the band is writing songs for Sheer Heart Attack, and John realizes he likes Brian more than he thought.





	1. Chapter 1

John brushed his bangs from his eyes. They were getting long, he needed to cut them soon. He took a deep breath in, and opened his eyes. The analog clock at his bedside read 9:03. _Woah_. That was late, especially for him. He got up, still in yesterday's bell bottoms. Freddie sat at the kitchen table in their shared apartment. Brian was at the stove and Roger was in the bathroom, pr so he assumed. 

"Deaky!" Freddie acknowledged him first. "How are you, love?"

Brian turned around and gave him a slight smile. John tried to keep from smiling too big himself.

"I'm alright," he replied. Freddie sighed and put down his notebook. "How does this look? I'm trying to make something new. Maybe more conventional."

Brian turned around again. "Conventional? I didn't know that was a word in your vocabulary, Fred."

Freddie smiled. "My vocabulary is larger than you think, darling. John! Tell me what you think of the song!"

John took the notebook from the table and examined the page. _Killer Queen_ , it was called. "Hmm. I like it. How're you thinking it goes?" 

Freddie started humming the melody when Brian came over and sat down next to John. John could feel the warmth coming from his body. He blushed. Brian laughed and John's body felt like it was going to burst, or at least his heart would.

"Fred, this is going to be a hit. It's wonderful. Is there a solo?" Freddie looked at him.

"Of course, darling!" Roger walked into the kitchen. "Deacon, you're up. Took you a while, eh?"

John smiled, "I guess it did."

The three were poured over Freddie's shoulder, commenting, suggesting, humming melodies they thought would work. All that John could notice was Brian, how his hair was getting longer and more beautiful by the day. How his shirt was tight on his body and the way his hazel eyes lit up with delight every time Freddie added something to the worn paper and the way his upper lip got smaller the wider he smiled. He was so wrapped up in the moment, the smell of breakfast all around, he didn't notice the usual confusion in the back of his head. How thoughts of disapproval he would get from his family if they knew he could ever think of a man this way. He didn't care how Brian was probably straight and would probably shun him the way his older friends did when they found out. He wanted to keep the way he pictured Brian a secret, and right then and there he decided he would never tell the others. Never. Right then, all he could think of was Brian and how much he loved him.


	2. A Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t want to give it away, but while Freddie and Brian are arguing, John tells Roger something intimate.

The album was coming along nicely. Freddie was mostly done with Killer Queen, and Roger and Freddie were planning on writing three songs that continued into each other. Three parts that made a whole. Johns first song written for the group was finished; give it two more weeks and all the music would be finished and they could start recording. But one thing was causing problems for the band, Brian’s 4 minute guitar solo on Brighton Rock. John walked into the living room from the grocery store and set down the bags on the counter, away from the other three who were really _going_ at it. Of course. He left for half an hour and the others were just about ready to pull a knife. Great.

“It’s a good song. The lyrics are great. But do you really need a four minute long solo? Do you think people would even want to hear that?” Freddie asked. Brian turned his head to the right and rolled his eyes. Before he could say anything, Roger joined in. 

“How come your songs can be as long as you dictate? But my songs aren’t good enough for you? Not strong enough?” Roger looked at Brian with a tint of hurt in his eyes. He couldn’t help but feel like the request for his song to be unreasonably long was a direct attack. He was offended because his songs never got that attention, not that it mattered anyways. His songs weren’t good. They were never good compared to Brian’s and Freddie’s. 

The arguing didn’t stop. This was the perfect way for his day to end. He’d been tired lately, more than usual. He never stopped admiring Brian, he was all he could think about. Well, Brian and the fact he was gay- a fact he didn’t want to admit to himself even. Panic rose inside of him. He’d known for a couple years now. He somehow found the courage to tell his friends from school, back when he first realized, and they hated him. Shunned him for it. One even had punched him. His parents didn’t know, and they wouldn’t accept him. The fire in his stomach continued to grow. He didn’t know how to make it go away. He vaguely registered a door slamming but he wasn’t sure- he was out of it. He needed to breathe. He walked quickly down the hall to the door and outside. It was cold. He didn’t think to bring a jacket. 

He looked to his left where Roger sat, angrily trying to light a cigarette. At first he didn’t notice him. 

“Roger?” John asked, squinting at him. 

“Yeah, what’s up.” It was more of a statement then a question. John sat down closer to him, the panic in his chest still there. He saw there were tears in his eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” asked John, practically returning the question without answering it himself. 

“Just that bloody song. Actually it’s not just that song, it’s the fact that no one respects my songwriting. Or me.” The tears fell. Roger immediately wiped them away, hoping John hadn’t seen. He had. “What’s wrong with you, you haven’t looked alright.”

John sighed. He ignored the panic in his arms and chest and whole body, really. It hadn’t been this bad in a while. “Haven’t been sleeping well I s’ppose.” He looked down. His words came out of him without him truly realizing it. He tried to stop them with no success. “Roger I’m gay.” He said it like one word. He closed his eyes and looked away. He didn’t want to see his reaction. He kicked himself for telling him.

Roger froze. He didn’t know what to say. He scrunched up his eyebrows. “Wow, Deaks. I didn’t know.” He took a long puff on his cigarette and closed his eyes. “I support you.” He tapped Johns shoulder. He turned around, tears on his face. Roger pulled him into a hug and they didn’t let go. Neither of them wanted to go inside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know John isn’t actually gay. Please don’t attack me.


	3. A Couple Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this is sort of me saying goodbye to this work because I can't think of any way to end this fic. But here's a look into the band's life in the future. Well, future based on when the other chapters took place.

It was 1978. John was sitting at a small table in the lobby of the recording studio. He turned the page of the newspaper he was reading. His eyes searched for something, anything, to be interested in, with no luck. He checked his watch, again. It was 2:04. They should be here. They should have been here four minutes ago. He closed his eyes, remembering a time when they all lived together, so no one could possibly be late. John sighed. Times had changed. He had since told everyone he was gay, but no one knew how he had felt about Brian. Well, felt was a strong word. The love he had for him came and went. Lately he had been feeling it more, deeper. He would never forget the way he loved Brian. It consumed him.   
The bell on the door rang. Roger and the others stepped into the room, laughing, shaking water drops off of umbrellas. Freddie was smiling wide, showing all of his teeth, which had been a rare occurrence lately. Roger hung up his coat and smiled at John. The feeling in his stomach left. Life was okay. He put down his newspaper on the table and The four walked into the studio, and John tried not to stare at Brian too much.


End file.
